Naked Brian Cowen. Gouge that out of your mind's eye if you can.
A Chap Called Conor Casby has come forward and admitted that he is responsible for the two nude paintings of BIFFO that mysteriously appeared in two of Ireland's top public galleries.
Aparently the Gardaí are looking into potential offences of indecency, incitement to hatred and criminal damage. Personally I think they should be tattooing goatse on the inside of Casby's eyelids in an effort to return the favour of giving me disturbing mental images that will likely resurface at the most inopportune of moments.
That said, it's still funny.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Formula One teams throw hissy fit: Toys thrown out of prams
In F1 news at the moment, theres a bit of a scuffle over Brawn Racing's new Diffuser Gate (google it).
Ok, ok...googling is too much for you...basically its a doohickey that makes the car considerably quicker than all the other F1 cars by doing something complicatedly technical to the airflow over the rear of the car.
The other teams don't like this, and even though race stewards have said that the diffuser gate is within the scope of the rules, they are protesting. To me, this seems a bit childish. But muuuUUUUuum! Its not fairrrr! Just because they thought of it first, spent a likely daft amount of money on developing it and managed to implement it in time for this season! boohoohoo!
If the FIA come along and ban this device, I'll be kind of pissed off. Not because I have a vested interest in F1 or Brawn Racing, but because I hate to see innovation stifled because of cry-babies who will likely be stealing the idea and implementing it in their own cars next season.
Ok, ok...googling is too much for you...basically its a doohickey that makes the car considerably quicker than all the other F1 cars by doing something complicatedly technical to the airflow over the rear of the car.
The other teams don't like this, and even though race stewards have said that the diffuser gate is within the scope of the rules, they are protesting. To me, this seems a bit childish. But muuuUUUUuum! Its not fairrrr! Just because they thought of it first, spent a likely daft amount of money on developing it and managed to implement it in time for this season! boohoohoo!
If the FIA come along and ban this device, I'll be kind of pissed off. Not because I have a vested interest in F1 or Brawn Racing, but because I hate to see innovation stifled because of cry-babies who will likely be stealing the idea and implementing it in their own cars next season.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Rollerbeast! (cue epic guitar solo)
I was going to post something on my way home on rollerbeast (I'm experimenting with new names for the tram) but I've run into a problem. I don't have anything to blog about. Work is it's usual combination of tedium and stress. My facial hair is growing at it's usual rate. Irish companies are selling helicopter parts to Iran, proving yet again that Irish busnessmen have a tendency towards corruptness and incompetence in fairly equal measure. Pretty much business as usual really (pun sort of intended).
Oh! That godawful jade woman has finally shuffled of this mortal coil. That means she's died for those with a goody-esque intellect.
Whilst it's a terrible thing for her children to lose their mother, and cancer is a horrible disease I would only wish on people I don't like and scumbags (meaning I wish it on scumbags twice), I'm so sick of the media wanking on about her like she was the new messiah or something. She was a third rate nobody, famous for being a dim-witted, racist-ish gobshite. A true example of everything I hate about reality tv.
What makes matters worse is that the media circus hasn't stopped. Now it's all 'jade's secret will!!!!11!!' and other tripe in a similar vein. It's a good thing I don't watch tv much or I'd have been on a celebrity nonentity Killing spree by now.
Anyway, that's my rant over. I'll go back to staring to the hot-ish chick acceoss from me until it makes her uncomfortable. Heh.
Oh! That godawful jade woman has finally shuffled of this mortal coil. That means she's died for those with a goody-esque intellect.
Whilst it's a terrible thing for her children to lose their mother, and cancer is a horrible disease I would only wish on people I don't like and scumbags (meaning I wish it on scumbags twice), I'm so sick of the media wanking on about her like she was the new messiah or something. She was a third rate nobody, famous for being a dim-witted, racist-ish gobshite. A true example of everything I hate about reality tv.
What makes matters worse is that the media circus hasn't stopped. Now it's all 'jade's secret will!!!!11!!' and other tripe in a similar vein. It's a good thing I don't watch tv much or I'd have been on a celebrity nonentity Killing spree by now.
Anyway, that's my rant over. I'll go back to staring to the hot-ish chick acceoss from me until it makes her uncomfortable. Heh.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Sweden!
Well, I'm back from Sweden.
I *did* try blogging from there but for some reason or other, shozu has stopped updating from my phone to blogger.
Anyway, Sweden is officially awesome. I was there from Thursday to Sunday, and spent most of that time drinking. On that note, Sweden is no more expensive than dublin if you drink lager. Spirits are a different story. €12 for a shot of chartreuse being the most expensive I saw. No, I didn't order chartreuse, before you ask.
The hotel (Scandic Europa) was very comfortable, and was located very well, being close to tram/bus stops, the central station and a large indoor shopping centre. The breakfasts were superb. Best. Eggs. Ever.
Drunken Moments:
. Singing 'Danny Boy' at full volume in comedy Swedish Chef voices whilst very drunk indeed. We weren't very popular.
. Snowball fights various. I even caught one right in the eye. Blinking OVER snow is an odd sensation.
. Being accosted by a young man who spent some time telling us how he has the blood of SEVEN viking kings in his veins. Highly drunk.
. Watching two fellas being unable to operate a coin-op public convenience. Then going in together when they finally got the door open.
. Standing in the middle of a road arguing about wether its one-way or not. Very intelligent.
I've some photos up from the trip, mostly taken when drunk. Have a look at the slideshow or head over to my flickr account for a look.
We had snow on thursday! I love snow! Snow while drunk is even more fun than snow while sober, in case you didn't know.
The wedding, our de facto reason for going to Sweden, was a good'un. The ceremony, reception, dinner and afters were all held on board the Viking, a beautiful old sailing ship converted into a hotel. The ceremony itself was short and sweet, with absolutely no religious overtones whatsoever (big plus in my book), and took about 15 mins in total, even when including the fact that it was done in both English and Swedish.
The dinner was very good indeed, although I didn't personally like the starter (fish - blegh). The speeches were by turns funny, sad and quite creative.
Suffice to say that the afters were appropriately drunken.
All in all I had a wonderful time and I have to offer my thanks to both the Coffeys and the O'Briens for yet again making me feel a true part of the family.
I *did* try blogging from there but for some reason or other, shozu has stopped updating from my phone to blogger.
Anyway, Sweden is officially awesome. I was there from Thursday to Sunday, and spent most of that time drinking. On that note, Sweden is no more expensive than dublin if you drink lager. Spirits are a different story. €12 for a shot of chartreuse being the most expensive I saw. No, I didn't order chartreuse, before you ask.
The hotel (Scandic Europa) was very comfortable, and was located very well, being close to tram/bus stops, the central station and a large indoor shopping centre. The breakfasts were superb. Best. Eggs. Ever.
Drunken Moments:
. Singing 'Danny Boy' at full volume in comedy Swedish Chef voices whilst very drunk indeed. We weren't very popular.
. Snowball fights various. I even caught one right in the eye. Blinking OVER snow is an odd sensation.
. Being accosted by a young man who spent some time telling us how he has the blood of SEVEN viking kings in his veins. Highly drunk.
. Watching two fellas being unable to operate a coin-op public convenience. Then going in together when they finally got the door open.
. Standing in the middle of a road arguing about wether its one-way or not. Very intelligent.
I've some photos up from the trip, mostly taken when drunk. Have a look at the slideshow or head over to my flickr account for a look.
We had snow on thursday! I love snow! Snow while drunk is even more fun than snow while sober, in case you didn't know.
The wedding, our de facto reason for going to Sweden, was a good'un. The ceremony, reception, dinner and afters were all held on board the Viking, a beautiful old sailing ship converted into a hotel. The ceremony itself was short and sweet, with absolutely no religious overtones whatsoever (big plus in my book), and took about 15 mins in total, even when including the fact that it was done in both English and Swedish.
The dinner was very good indeed, although I didn't personally like the starter (fish - blegh). The speeches were by turns funny, sad and quite creative.
Suffice to say that the afters were appropriately drunken.
All in all I had a wonderful time and I have to offer my thanks to both the Coffeys and the O'Briens for yet again making me feel a true part of the family.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Watchmen - Spoilers, but you've read the book, right? RIGHT?!
Who Watches the Watchmen?
Me, actually.
I went to see Watchmen on saturday, and it's superb. I have a couple of gripes with it, most of which revolve around the ending.
I can fully understand why they did what they did, and it doesnt really detract from the overall plot. In fact, it could be seen as an improvement in a way. If they'd stuck to the original ending, an extra half hour plus would have had to be added to an already two-and-a-half-hour film.
My other gripe was with the audience. You see, Doc Manhattan was done properly. So, Full frontal male nudity is a given. Apparently adult males in Ireland titter and giggle like schoolgirls when they see a penis. Honestly...I actually heard '...willy...heeheehee' from a grown man somewhere behind me.
That said, the film itself was spectacular. The acting was top notch, particularly Jakie Earle Haley as Rorschach, who was utterly convincing. Jeffery Dean Morgan as The Comedian was another highlight. All of the characters in the film were portrayed true to the book, from Doc Manhattan's slightly melancholy detachment to Rorschach's violent Sociopathy.
The film itself was uncompromising. All the gore, twisted humor, violence etc. from the book is in the film and, to be fair, there's a LOT more gore than the book, but it looks awesome. If I'd spent that much on exploding human being effects, I'd have used them a lot too. I don't think I'll ever get bored of exploding/vapourising bad guys done with such visceral glee. Also, Malin Akerman is smoking hot as the Silk Spectre II, and I don't think its possible to get bored of looking at hot women in latex/pvc.
The Soundtrack is almost worth the ticket price by itself, with tracks portraying the eras in which the story is set beautifully. That said, the choice/placing of 'Hallelujah' was somewhat odd, especially because it makes a sex scene funny in a macabre sort of way. Not that I'm complaining.
Overall I'm really Impressed with the film they said could never be made. A really satisfying attmept to convert THE graphic novel into a film.
Me, actually.
I went to see Watchmen on saturday, and it's superb. I have a couple of gripes with it, most of which revolve around the ending.
I can fully understand why they did what they did, and it doesnt really detract from the overall plot. In fact, it could be seen as an improvement in a way. If they'd stuck to the original ending, an extra half hour plus would have had to be added to an already two-and-a-half-hour film.
My other gripe was with the audience. You see, Doc Manhattan was done properly. So, Full frontal male nudity is a given. Apparently adult males in Ireland titter and giggle like schoolgirls when they see a penis. Honestly...I actually heard '...willy...heeheehee' from a grown man somewhere behind me.
That said, the film itself was spectacular. The acting was top notch, particularly Jakie Earle Haley as Rorschach, who was utterly convincing. Jeffery Dean Morgan as The Comedian was another highlight. All of the characters in the film were portrayed true to the book, from Doc Manhattan's slightly melancholy detachment to Rorschach's violent Sociopathy.
The film itself was uncompromising. All the gore, twisted humor, violence etc. from the book is in the film and, to be fair, there's a LOT more gore than the book, but it looks awesome. If I'd spent that much on exploding human being effects, I'd have used them a lot too. I don't think I'll ever get bored of exploding/vapourising bad guys done with such visceral glee. Also, Malin Akerman is smoking hot as the Silk Spectre II, and I don't think its possible to get bored of looking at hot women in latex/pvc.
The Soundtrack is almost worth the ticket price by itself, with tracks portraying the eras in which the story is set beautifully. That said, the choice/placing of 'Hallelujah' was somewhat odd, especially because it makes a sex scene funny in a macabre sort of way. Not that I'm complaining.
Overall I'm really Impressed with the film they said could never be made. A really satisfying attmept to convert THE graphic novel into a film.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Regular Updates: Pointless Theorising
There is a strange phenomenon, I have noticed, caused by having a blog. You feel compelled to the point of feeling guilty (insofar as I'm capable of feeling guilt anyway) to update regularly, even if you don't have anything much to say.
The irony*, therefore, of this post has probably not escaped you. Clever reader! Good boy! No! Not on the rug! OUT! OUT!
*ahem*
To be honest, I'm not sure where this compulsion comes from. I'm too lazy for OCD, so that's not the answer. Nobody really reads this, so its not like I have a loyal reader base to appease. You lot don't count. Because I said 'Loyal' and 'Reader', not 'Slackjawed' and 'Gawker', thats why.
I'm beginning to think that the need to update comes from the fact that because I've posted articles previously, I feel I have to KEEP posting so that the previous posts dont disappear into obscurity. Some kind of artistic arrogance (like the usual kind, only likely to break into bouts of funny hats). Deep and philosophical I know.
There's also the small matter of me hoping, one day, to break into Journalism (maybe using a crowbar). Having published work, even a dodgy pesonal blog full of less-than-cogent ramblings, can only help in this regard.
So a combination of arrogance and personal ambition, then. I hope you feel suitably violated.
No, you can't have your five minutes back.
* not in the alanis morisette way
The irony*, therefore, of this post has probably not escaped you. Clever reader! Good boy! No! Not on the rug! OUT! OUT!
*ahem*
To be honest, I'm not sure where this compulsion comes from. I'm too lazy for OCD, so that's not the answer. Nobody really reads this, so its not like I have a loyal reader base to appease. You lot don't count. Because I said 'Loyal' and 'Reader', not 'Slackjawed' and 'Gawker', thats why.
I'm beginning to think that the need to update comes from the fact that because I've posted articles previously, I feel I have to KEEP posting so that the previous posts dont disappear into obscurity. Some kind of artistic arrogance (like the usual kind, only likely to break into bouts of funny hats). Deep and philosophical I know.
There's also the small matter of me hoping, one day, to break into Journalism (maybe using a crowbar). Having published work, even a dodgy pesonal blog full of less-than-cogent ramblings, can only help in this regard.
So a combination of arrogance and personal ambition, then. I hope you feel suitably violated.
No, you can't have your five minutes back.
* not in the alanis morisette way
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Update: The Morning After
Morning all! Apparently Bulmer's cider doesn't give me much of a hangover. Win!
Old fashioned Irish booze up and singalong
Tonight we headed over to claire's parent's house for a proper old school party, consisting of food, daft amounts of booze and a singalong of epic proportions. Anyway, I'm not going to write any more because tomorrow's hangover won't manifest of it's own accord.
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